dunkar

I'm really ready to go home home home home. I just want everything to go back to normal. And when I say normal I really just want to get high high high high. I have serious cravings for some blow. It's a strange feeling but I almost like it. I feel an awfully long overdue relapse coming on. I don't want wanna be able to feel my face. I do wanna feel my heartbeat from my fingertips to my toes and have a warm drip of blood come out of my nose. God mother fucking damn. lasfjakjlghgh.

Up and down and up and down.

I really wonder if anyone will ever see this other than myself, and I wonder if I will be able to be honest as well.

WELL, I recently arrived for my first year away from home (Chicago, IL) at the University of Alberta (Edmonton, AB). As my freshman year of high school went, I kind of ducked things up, and am currently dealing with the consequential, well, consequences. Really just trying to take things as they come to me and not worry too much about things like, "do I have any real friends?" or "why am I even here?"

ANYWAY, I was influenced to create this by a girl named Jillan Watts aka JayDubz. I'd call her my friend. But really I can't think about it too much because I really start to doubt myself. I at least feel somewhat natural around her. And I think she likes me too for the most part, or at least I hope she does.

ABOUT myself a little: I'm 18, an American in Canada, enjoy reading and thinking, value being alone and the opportunity to self reflect but am generally happiest around others, I like being with people I know but not really shitheads, and lastly, I love cats.